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Decisions

Disclaimer: They don’t belong to me. I just like to let them have some fun.
Rating: PG-13, sorry I can’t write smut
Pairing: Adama/Roslin
Timeline: This is directly after ‘Black Market’. I think a lot of things were left unsaid regarding Laura’s survival.
Notes: Any of you who are waiting for more of ‘The Broken Road’, I am working on the second chapter and it is coming along nicely, but this just had to come out.
Spoiler: This takes place after ‘Black Market’, but I don’t think anything is really said that gives any of the story away. Something is mentioned from the deleted scenes from Season 2.0. If you’ve seen it, you’ll know it, if not, nothing will be spoiled.

Decisions

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By

Lattelady


The phone rang in Admiral Adama’s quarters, shattering the comfortable silence that had descended while he and his son finished their drinks.

“Adama, here,” he sighed as he began to rebutton his tunic. It was one of his infrequent off-duty evenings and his people were usually careful not to bother him unless it was a crisis.

“Sir, Colonial One’s shuttle just radioed ahead. The President is on her way over and would like some time alone with you.”

“Show her in when she gets here.” He shook his head as he hung up. He was very glad Laura Roslin hadn’t died, for many reasons, some which he refused to admit even to himself. But he didn’t want to get into the inevitable argument that he was sure was coming his way. He’d known at the time that she hadn’t been pleased with the way Lee had handled the black market situation, but he’d also known it was the best they could do for the time being. He’d backed Apollo, not because he was his son, but because he’d known that if they went down the road the President was proposing, it would have been perceived by many as martial law, backed by the presidency. It would have been all their enemies needed to unseat her and discredit him.

“Do you want me to stay, Dad?” Lee offered. It was the first time since they returned from Kobol that the civilian government and the military appeared to have a difference in opinion. “I…ah…was her military advisor.”

“Afraid I’m going to thrown her in the brig again?” Adama finished the last swallow of his drink and put his glass aside.

“Ahh…no, Sir,” Lee stood at attention and tried not to look shocked at the Admiral’s comment.

“You can relax; Roslin and I are past that.” Even as he said the words he remembered the hours he’d spent at her side when they both believed her cancer was going to win the battle for her life. “We handle things in more civilized ways now.” A small smile played at the edges of his mouth as he wondered if he could kiss her into submission if she gave him a hard time.

“Dad, what are you planning?” Lee may have lived the last few weeks with flashes of his own death punctuating his life, but he hadn’t been oblivious to the many trips his father had made to Colonial One, nor the hours the older man had spent in Life Station when the President had been brought aboard Galactica.

“Nothing too drastic,” he murmured. “Get some sleep; I’ll see you in the morning, Captain.”
…………………
“Madam President,” Bill Adama greeted her as he opened his hatch to Laura Roslin. She was still wearing her black suit from earlier in the day, but now she looked tired and drawn. The spark was gone from her eyes and the spring was missing from her step.

“Admiral,” she nodded as she moved into his private sanctum. With an unconscious sigh, her shoulders sagged slightly and she felt every muscle in her body loosen.

As much as it hurt him to see her looking exhausted, the experienced tactician in Adama forced him to stand back and watch, let her make the first move, open the conversation. He needed to know what was so important it brought her late at night, almost unannounced to his ship.

“There’s something about these rooms….so relaxing,” she muttered. Her eyes traveled over his living space and office, forgetting from one moment to the next, that he was standing three feet away. It was his home and since returning from Kobol she realized that it was one place where she could truly be herself.

“If you’ve come to ask to trade quarters, I’ll have to respectfully turn you down.” He watched as his words brought her back to the here and now. She wasn’t acting at all like he’d expected when he’d gotten the call she was on her way to see him. He’d expected classic Laura, ripe with indignation that his military views weren’t the same as her civilian ones.

“No, that’s not why I…” she looked flustered. She hadn’t meant for him to hear what she’d said about his quarters. “I came because I needed to talk to someone and…and there was nobody else who might….” Her words came to an abrupt halt as she lost her nerve. “This was a mistake. I’m sorry I bothered you, Admiral.” She squared her shoulders and headed for the door.

“Wait, are you in pain, do you need Doc Cottle?” He blocked her escape. The woman who was standing before him was vastly different from the angry one he’d left on Colonial One a few hours earlier. Something had happened and it worried him. It was too easy to remember that she’d almost died. He hadn’t let that memory color his dealings with her earlier in the day, but she’d looked strong and determined then.

“No, no,” she shook her head and fought to retain her dignity. “Oh gods, no, if only it was that easy,” she covered her mouth with her hand to keep hysterical laughter bottled up inside of her. The confusion that had brought her to Galactica, seeking his help, had made death seem easy compared to the life she’d been living since her breast cancer had been beaten.

“Laura, please, talk to me.” He put his arm lightly around her shoulders and led her to his couch. He’d seen her angry, he’d seen her exhausted and he’d seen her dying, but he’d never seen her on the edge of losing control.

“I want to,” she whispered as she slipped off her shoes and pulled her legs up under her to keep her feet warm. “I want to very much, but I need your assurance that nothing I say now will come back to haunt me when we disagree.”

“We’ve talked as Laura and Bill before, and still been able to come out slugging as the Commander and the President the next morning. I doubt my promotion will change that.” He smiled and lightly brushed her cheek. “You’ve never brought-up that I’d thought I’d ‘become a wuss since being shot’, when we’ve argued. What deep dark secret could you have that’s worse than that?”

“Not a secret really, but a truth.” She felt the couch dip as he sat very close to her. “The truth that up until two weeks ago, every decision I made since becoming president was tinged with the prospect of my impending death.” She leaned closer and grabbed his arm. “I’ve made costly decisions and asked you to make them as well. I wanted you to…”

“Laura, Laura,” he gripped her shoulders as he cut off her flow of words. “Hush,” he warned. “There are things that must never be spoken of, remembered, but never spoken of.”

She closed her eyes and thanked the gods for the strength and friendship of the man beside her. “I’m sorry for what happened and what I asked you to do.” In the quiet moments when she’d tried to sleep, she was horrified by many of the decisions she’d made and the lives that they had cost. Even more so that she had involved Bill Adama in her actions. She’d been the one to first suggest Cain’s assassination, and the termination of Sharon’s baby. “I was terrified for you and the fleet and desperate to do all I could in the little time I had.”

“We’ve been down this road before, on Kobol.” He gripped her cold hands and leaned closer to her. “Do you remember?”

“Yes, you said that you hadn’t come after me to ‘nimgaze or catalogue our mistakes’.”

“That’s right. And I hold to that statement. The decisions we’ve made, both separately and together, may not have always been the right ones, but given the knowledge we had at the time, they were the only ones we could have made.”

“I never realized how difficult you had it.” Laura looked deep into dusky blue eyes. “Many of my first decisions were made from ignorance. When I suggested leaving the Colonies, I never understood the scope of what I was proposing. You did, you knew and agreed with me anyway. Everything else was easy because it came down to, put out this fire; deal with it now before I die. Don’t leave Bill with anymore on his plate than I have too.” She bit her lip and sucked in a deep breath. “Everything I’ve done for the last six months has been based on the premise that I would never live to see the end results. All I had to do was keep on slugging and then die. I never dreamed I’d have to live with the consequences.”

“Laura, stop this,” he growled and shook her slightly.

“I’m sorry,” she tried to smile, but failed. “You have more than enough to deal with, without adding my fears to it.” She pulled away from him and uncurled her legs from under her. It was too easy to lean on him, and too unfair.

“Laura, wait.” He turned her toward him, her bare legs against the hard muscles of his thigh. “In a time of war the commander of a fleet is said to command under the gods. That means that the only authority above him is his faith. In this war, I was lucky enough to be given you to help me make the decisions. Because of that the two of us answer only to the gods and each other. We keep each other balanced.”

“Bill…”

“As I told you back on Kobol, each day is a gift from you. Because of your decisions we are alive. Never doubt them or question them. They were right then and they are right now.”

“And everyday that I have is a gift from you.” Laura leaned closer to put her hand on his shoulder needing to touch him. “You disobeyed my order and I’m alive because of it.”

“I didn’t do it alone.” Bill smiled and ran his hand over her silk sleeve.

“Well I’ll be damned if I’ll give the credit to the Cylon or Baltar.” She grinned feeling a lightness of spirit that had been missing for a very long time. “Oh my gods…You’re right about almost dying, it can turn a person into a wuss.” Her giggle was warm and infectious and made her eyes dance with mischief.

Adama laughed and gently pulled her closer until she was leaning breathless against his chest. “So that makes us a couple of wusses.” His eyes were filled with blue flame and he couldn’t stop gazing at her lips.

“At least when we’re in private,” Laura whispered as she cupped his chin with her hand and gently covered his lips with hers. It was an imitation of the kiss he’d given her and lasted for only a few seconds...one…two…three…four…five…her heart beat out the passage of time as her lips touched his.

“Laura,” Bill moaned and pulled her tightly to him. She was in his arms and had just kissed him. This time she was well and whole and he didn’t have to worry about hurting her. His mouth blazed a path from her ear to her collarbone. “Frak the wuss theory. I want you and have ever since I danced with you on Colonial Day.”

“Gods, Bill,” their eyes met and neither had ever looked or felt less like a wuss. “Do you know how hard it was for me to keep my hands off of you when you slept beside me under that tarp on Kobol?” Even as she spoke her fingers were trying to unfasten the buttons of his tunic.

“Why didn’t you say something?” He pulled off his glasses and placed them beside hers on the side table.

“I couldn’t, I was dying.” Laura’s hands stilled. She needed him to understand what it had cost her. “I wanted to make love to you, but my death was right around the corner, it was too much to ask of you.”

“Out of all the decisions you’ve made based on your death that is the only one I can honestly say was faulty thinking.” He held her close and shifted their bodies until she was beneath him on the couch. “It’s a good thing we can remedy the situation.”

Hours later they fell sleep wrapped around one another in his bunk. Their clothes were scattered between the couch and the bed. Words of love had been whispered between moans of passion, words that set them free while they bound them together. Later decisions were made as they held each other close in the aftermath of joy; decision that would keep them together when people and issues tried to pull them apart; decisions that would guide them through Cylon attacks, death and treachery; decisions that made Laura Roslin and Bill Adama truly one under the gods.



THE END

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
karihan
Jan. 30th, 2006 03:08 am (UTC)
Sweet! I have one minor correction: On Kobol Bill said he didn't come there to "navel-gaze or catalogue our mistakes." Galactica Station's transcript had the line wrong. ^_^
lattelady6
Jan. 30th, 2006 03:47 am (UTC)
I'm glad you liked the story, coming from you, it's a real compliment.

I'm going to stick with 'nimgaze'. I checked my DVD yesterday as I was writing it and again now, it sounds like nimgaze to me. I've tried in the past to hear the word 'navel' because I know I've seen others write it that way, but I gotta go with what I hear, even if it's wrong. I think I've played that line at least 10 times in the last 24 hours.

It doesn't help that I can't find the word in my Websters unabridged dictionary, either. I'm sure I've seen it somewhere and it is like a stargazer.
scottishlass
Feb. 12th, 2006 10:42 pm (UTC)
Good story, LatteLady ;) Up to your usual wonderful standard. I think I could get into the whole series if you were the writer of it :D

Una
P.S. I have fiddled around with brown colours a bit on my journal, do you still want to have the layout I made for you? I will post a pic of what I have in mind in my LJ :)
lattelady6
Feb. 13th, 2006 01:18 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it, Una. I've finsihed the second chapter of Broken Road and need to post it here. In fact I need to check and see if I posted the first chapter, hahaha. I've really let my journal slide recently.

I'd love any help you can give me with the layout for my journal. I still can't figure out how to have tabs at the sides so I can go to different stories or sections. Let me know when you have it posted at your site.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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The moving finger writes: and having writ Moves on. nor all your piety nor wit Shall lure it back to cancal half a line, Nor all your tears wash out a word of it...The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

If I quiet the voices in my head, I would face the day with nothing to write. - Unknown

I must go down to the seas again the lonely sea and sky...J Masefield

Cinderella walked on broken glass,
Sleeping beauty let a whole lifetime pass.
Belle fell in love with a hideous beast,
Jasmine married a common thief.
Ariel walked on land for love and life,
Snow white barely escaped a knife.
It was all about blood, sweat, and tears.
Because love means facing your biggest fears


The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of...French Proverb

I have drempt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after. They've gone through me like wine through water and altered the colour of my mind ...E. Bronte

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage...Lao Tzu

It takes chaos to give birth to a dancing star ..F. Nietzsche

How many loved your moments of glad grace, and loved your beauty with love false or true? But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you, and loved the sorrows of your changing face...Yeats

Let us go, you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky...T. S. Eliot

In that book which is my memory, on the first page of the chapter, that is the day when I first met you, appears the words, "here begins a new life".
La Vita Nuova

Midnight courage of the heart...Jen Kirkwood

The three o-clock in the morning courage which Bonaparte thought was the rarest...Thoreau

Did you say it? I love you; I don't ever want to live without you; you changed my life. Did you say it?
Make a plan, set a goal, work toward it, but every now and then, look around, drink it in, 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow. - Meredith Grey

Shakespeare is easy, life is hard...Wheels

Don't try to be a great man, just be a man. Let history make up its own mind...Z.Cochron

I had a job to do and I was unafraid...Jack to John Creighton

For I dipt into the future, as far as the human eye could see. Saw the vision of the world, and the wonders that can be...RWW Hipwell

Without diviation from the norm, progress is impossible...F. Zappa

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea, In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey and plenty of money, Wrapped up in a five-pound note. The Owl looked up to the stars above, and sang to a small guitar...E Lear

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